By the Lake
by Saturn's Hikari
Summary: Now he had to be his own whole person, not just half of two, and you wondered if he really could.


Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or Elladan and Elrohir.

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By the Lake

You came over the mound and looked down at the valley below you. The lake- blue glass reflecting the fields and flowers around it and the elfling perched on the sloping hill before it, a little ways below you. Just one twin staring out at the lake, atop his little hill, sitting in the warm sunlight.

And for a moment, as you walked up from behind him, the sunlight lit upon him and it seemed kind and tangible and you almost reached out to touch it then, but stopped yourself and stood outside it in the shadows.

He looked like a picture- the sunlight happy lake and the boy sitting and watching the peacefulness of it. But then you looked at him, really looked at him and saw it wasn't so.

His arms were hugging his legs close to his chest and even though it wasn't cold, he shivered. Shivered in the sun. And you knew that he didn't feel the sun's warmth or saw the peaceful lake.

You slid up behind him; he didn't turn around or say anything, just stared straight ahead, zombie-like. You dropped cross-legged next to him, and then he looked at you.

His face had tear streaks down them -faint lines that split him into thirds. One side of his face, the middle and his other side, all separated by lines of water. And you felt the wrongness of it all. El wasn't supposed to be separated into threes, had always been two, just one of a set.

Now he had to be his own whole person, not just half of two, and you wondered if he really could. His eyes were dulled; with no spark, none of the love for life that had been there, and there was a /deadness/ behind the horrible overwhelming grief. You were drowning in his sadness- the loneliness of someone who had never truly been alone. Lost in a sea of grief as blue whooshed around you...

He turned away- back to looking at the lake and beyond the lake to something only he could see- and you were almost relived because then you didn't have to see the pain and nothingness inside his eyes.

"I'm Elrohir." He said and his voice was dead, You just nodded, even though he didn't have to tell anyone which one he was anymore, and looked out to the lake also. But you knew you didn't see the things that your friend saw.

You saw the glimmer of sun on rippling waves and the green trees across the lake bending with the breeze; a lazy duck paddling under the arched bride that crossed the lake where it narrowed and the fish that swam toward you two sitting near the lake edge. You saw Imladris and all it's peacefulness, but he, he must only see an empty home, a void where a piece was missing, where a son- a brother, was gone and never coming back...

In a way you were kind of glad that El didn't try to talk to you, because then you'd have to nod and say you understand- even though really you knew you could never really truly understand. And Elrohir must have known that too, since he didn't say anything, not even when a tear dripped down his nose.

You didn't cry. All your tears were gone, dried with rising of the sun. And the others in the household, they too seemed to grasp the need to look to the situations at hand. Lord Elrond had taken up his seat in the Hall, Lady Arwen- the head of the household- at least for the time she lingered here before following her grandmother back to Lothlorien. The Elves, although separate, still lived somewhat in the flow of time, and life went on, though some much poorer for it's loss.

But El, Elrohir now, never Ellahir, had not. He'd cried and you'd held him, only because you were the one that was there. It wasn't because he'd come to you. He'd never had to come to you, never needed someone else's arms around him, because he'd already had a pair.

But now he didn't. Now he was alone and lost and what could you say? Was it even possible for him to move on? Would you wake to find him lost to grief, fading like the twilight dawn? Could you stop him?

Another tear joined the one falling down his face. You moved closer and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up at you and for a second- he didn't see you, saw the image of himself sitting there beside him.

"El-" He whispered a little breathless sigh. The hope rang softly in his voice along with something else, mirrored in his eyes... pleading.

What was he asking for?

But you didn't have a chance to ask what it was. He realized it was you who sat beside and all the hope and wanting fled, leaving an empty shell behind as shrugged off your hand and turned away.

He was fading.

He was your best friend, now your only best friend, but you could not bring yourself to say what /you/ wanted - could not ask him, beg him...

You both sat in silence for some minutes, hours, you didn't quite know how long, but all too soon sun was setting, and then you cleared your throat.

"It'll be supper soon." You said, but the word 'funeral' filled the unspoken silence.

Neither of you moved and El didn't make any indication that he had heard, but a single tear trickled down his cheek.

And you sat silent, again, a little voice crying in the back of your head. 'Wait for me, El. don't you leave me, too. Please, please stay, don't go, too.'

Then the sun set and pulled all remaining color with it and the lake seemed cold and dark and not cheerful at all.

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Author's Notes: Angsty. This is actaully a rewritten draft of the first chapter in 'These Tears we cry.' I don't like that one and was playing around with different plot parts. I seem to have this wierd thing for using second person. (you). I like this one better than the original, but "Last Words will always be my favorite one. 

I'll probably being taking down the first chapter of "These tears we cry", I don't like it, and it's not like anyone else is reading it.

Please leave a review, even if it's just a 'hey, I read this'. I'd love really long reviews, but at the moment it's like "beggers can't be choosers" sort of thing. But if you review I will love you for life!

Cheer's,

Saturn's Hikari


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